Meet Me now...sort of

Good morning and Happy Easter everyone. I didn't make it to church with the rest of my family today, I tried, even woke up early, but I could barely move so I didn't go. :( Last night was the second night I took only half of my steroid dose and I don't think my body is ready to taper off them just yet, so back to full dose I go. I think I will call my PA and ask her how long she thinks it might be this time on the roids. I have the coolest PA here, she just treats my symptoms and lets me call most of the shots. Now I know that any of you out there with Lupus would be horrified to hear this, but my situation is a little bit different.



I was born in Texas, spent almost 10 yrs. out of the United States (Army Brat) and then moved to California, where I finished growing up. Oh, and did I mention I was adopted? (makes it real hard to pin down family history of illnesses) Funny thing, I guess I was but I never thought of myself as sickly growing up. I had horrible migraines starting at age 6 which didn't end, for the most part, until I was pregnant with my first at age 21. My mom took me to a series of horses azz doctors that said I was either making it up for attention or I was crazy and just imagining the kind of pain that had me vomiting and writhing on the floor. (remember, it was the seventies and I guess they just didn't know better) My mom, God bless her, as this was one of the very few times in my life she took my side, of course it was hard to miss the veins bulging out of my forehead and throbbing, so she took me to more doctors. They couldn't figure it out either, but she believed me and that's what really counted to me even at that young age. Finally at about age 11 or 12, one specialist concluded that it might be migraines but was unwilling to give me anything for the pain because of my tender age. My mom read up on a new type of therapy called Bio Feedback and taught me her own version of it. It was life changing in that it allowed me to get outside of the pain long enough until I either passed out, or it just passed. It is honestly true that this was one of the only things she ever did for me unselfishly in my life and that's why I will never forget the power she gave me over some of my worst pain. I'm really not whining or boohooing about my pitiful childhood, I'm just saying. Anyway, as you can imagine this sent me on a lifelong path of ignoring things wrong with me, lying to doctors if I thought they wouldn't believe me, or sharing any intimate details about myself, like anything going on with my body. Not the best things to do for a girl growing up with Lupus. As if it isn't hard enough to diagnose, I made it nearly impossible.



Ok, I'm back after a 5 1/2 hour break. Break, HAH! I was babysitting for my neighbor. I knew I should say no but I can't help myself, I adore that little guy, just love the stuffin out of him. (7 mth. old perfect little specimen) I'm really tired now, shaking inside from pushing myself so I think I will finish my intro at a later time. I'm really starting to like this, it's cathartic in a way and it almost feels sinful at the thought of strangers reading about my most personal thoughts and feelings. More later, I hope you all have a great evening and a blessed night.